Spring Cleaning Sale ✨ Birthday Readings, a Cosmic Tea Blend, & Your March Survival Guide
heyyyyy coven,
Pisces season is upon us!
My birthday is March 12th and I decided to do something I've never done before: put every single reading on sale!!!
It’s the Spring Cleaning Sale because spring is around the corner and it's time to clear out the old energy, get aligned, and start this next season with intention.💫
This is my bday gift to you all 🥹
🧹 THE SPRING CLEANING SALE
every reading.
marked down from $111 to $77!!!
This is the biggest sale I've ever done and it ends at midnight, March 13th.
Here's what a reading with me actually looks like:
It's a full 60 minutes:
The first half hour is a deep dive into your Vedic birth chart: your placements, your dashas, what transits are activating in your life right now.
The second half hour is a personalised tarot spread layered over your chart so the cards speak directly to your cosmic blueprint.
Spaces are verrrrryyyyy limited, so if you've been on the fence, the time to book is MEOW!!!
I also offer sliding scale options because your financial situation should never be a roadblock to clarity. Email me at misha@thebaristawitch.com if you'd like to work within your budget! 💕
🔮 MARCH IS NOT PLAYING WITH Y'ALL
This is a entire month is like the spin cycle of astrology and if you don't know what's coming, it's going to feel like chaos.
If you DO know what's coming, you can use it.
That's what the March 2026 Cosmic Tea Guide is for! Every transit is broken down with context so you understand what's shifting and how to move through it.
The guide is $4.44, and I make one every single month. 🙂↕️
Subscribe to the site so you never miss a drop!
Anddddd if you want the rest of 2026 handled, my yearly Cosmic Tea Guide maps out every retrograde, eclipse, full moon, and new moon from January through December!!!!
☕ MARCH TEA BLEND: "ECLIPSE GROUNDS"
With all of this cosmic curfuffle, I’ve created a custom tea blend based on these March transits because March is a lot and your nervous system deserves a fighting chance!
4 ingredients. all from your kitchen or the grocery store tea aisle. no specialty shops required.
🌼 1 tsp Chamomile: the eclipse anchor. calms the nervous system and steadies your emotions when the lunar eclipse in Leo is trying to drag every feeling you've ever had to the surface. You probably already have this in a tea bag somewhere.
🍵 1 tsp Peppermint: spring equinox energy. clears the Mercury retrograde fog, freshens everything up, and signals to your body that a new season is starting. also makes the whole blend taste clean.
🪵 1 Cinnamon Stick (or ¼ tsp ground): Jupiter is going direct on the 10th. warmth, expansion, forward momentum. lightly stimulating without caffeine. This is the ingredient that makes it feel like a real drink and not just leaf water.
🍯 Fresh Ginger, 2 to 3 thin slices: the grounding base. warms you from the inside, aids digestion, gently energises without the jitters. keeps your roots planted while allll these transits are shifting the ground beneath you.
To brew: add everything to a mug. Pour hot (not boiling) water over it. steep 7 to 10 minutes. strain. Add honey if you want sweetness. sip with intention.
🎓 ARCANA ACADEMY & CAFÉ COVEN
And now for my favorite part of this March update, I’m officially teaching tarot!!!!
The Arcana Academy is live on Tier 2 of my Patreon!
Every Thursday, a new lesson drops and we're currently deep in the Major Arcana!
Seven full lessons are already available up for you to binge: The Fool allll the way through The Tower. The symbolism, the mythology, the "oh THAT'S what that card actually means" moments that textbooks and fifteen-second TikToks will never give you.
The latest drop? Temperance, The Devil, and The Tower in one sitting. If you know those three cards you already know that's not a casual Thursday. That's Beyoncé dropping a visual album at midnight with zero warning energy. Transformation, ego, the cosmic plot twist that restructures your entire life.
Most tarot courses cost $250 to $500.
Arcana Academy is $11 a month. Eleven dollars. That's a latte and a half.
You get weekly lessons every Tarot Thursday, homework to actually practice with, office hours where we meet up and talk through the cards together, AND full access to Tier 1, The Café Coven where I pull a weekly spread for the Coven. There are hours of content already sitting there ready for you.
Theres zeroooo gatekeeping how I read. The classroom door is open and your seat has been waiting. I’m sooooo excited to begin this journey with you!
📺 SUBSCRIBE ON YOUTUBE
If you're reading this and somehow are still not subscribed to the channel , go handle that. This is where the collective readings, the pick a cards, and the free cosmic tea drop every week. New readings go up Sundays!
Thank you for being part of this coven. Thank you for supporting a Black-owned, independent, Cambridge-educated witch who genuinely just wants to serve y'all the best cosmic tea possible.
The spring cleaning sale ends midnight March 13th. Go book that reading!
